A woman stands in a frosty field, posing for the camera with one hand in her hair.

Have you ever felt the rush of excitement when a photo captures your best angle, or the sinking feeling of self-doubt when an image doesn’t turn out how you had hoped it would?

I’m diving into what affects our perceptions of ourselves in photos, and how photography has the power to boost or cripple our confidence. (Cause let’s be real, it happens to me too!!)

So here are my thoughts on the crazy relationship between photography and self-esteem!!

We’re going to start with body image.

Words and images have such a powerful effect on our thought patterns if we let them influence us. When I was pregnant, I gained 70lbs, and with constant back troubles, I was unable to lose it without the help of medications/injections (and I still haven’t lost it all). I never had weighed over 200 lbs by that point (being 185 lbs before pregnancy, becoming 250 lbs or so dragged me down so hard).

To be honest, I’ve never been happy about how I looked. When I was a teenager, I danced Ballet and Jazz. No matter what I did, I never had a flat stomach. I always had that lower-belly pooch. It made me incredibly self-conscious, and I hated having to wear swimsuits. I was 140 lbs (at 5’11” already then), and yet I felt fat - Body Dysmorphia at its finest.

So, I get it. 100%, I do. It’s very difficult to see yourself in the way you never thought you’d be and feel hopeless that it will ever change.

But God created us in His image. He CREATED us. We have free will, and some of our choices aren’t the best (like being obsessed with sweets, on my end). But ultimately, He LOVES us. He gave us our bodies and finds us beautiful exactly the way we are because He created us with love. He saw his work as GOOD.

No matter how you see yourself, remember that you have a Heavenly Creator who sees you as wonderfully made. You are BEAUTIFUL. You are WORTHY. You BELONG. NEVER forget that you mean something, and have a purpose here on this planet ❤️

(If you or someone you know/love is struggling with Body Dysmorphia, please seek help!! This can lead to larger disorders like bulimia or anorexia, or in the opposite case, binge-eating disorder. There are amazing counsellors and therapists out there who can help you work through your struggles. Check out BetterHelp or find a local counsellor so you can start working through it. It’ll be a lot of hard work - trust me, I’m still working through my own - but you’ll start to feel better and better.)

A photographer faces away from the camera, standing in a field surrounded by hills and coulees, taking a photo of the sunset which is out of frame to the right. — *Photo by Kyla Masoud Photography, edited by me.*

Camera Shyness

It’s not uncommon to feel shy in front of the camera. Heck, I feel it all the time; it makes me feel embarrassed and ridiculous. I think that’s why I prefer to take photos than have my own photo taken.

But I have a few tips to help you feel a little less shy:

Choose a photographer who understands how you feel. People who are naturally confident in front of the camera won’t necessarily understand why you hesitate. But having someone who relates, taking your photo and working with your insecurities, who is experienced with assisting others this way, can make the world of a difference.
With my sessions, I always tell people it takes me about the same time to warm up as them. We always start with more movement-based images (there were a few times I started posing, but it didn’t work very well, and I learned from that). Walking away from the camera, not even showing your face to the lens can be a great way to start.
Then, with mindset. It’ll be stupidly hard at first, but once you get into a rhythm of telling yourself that you CAN do this, that the photographer has your best interest at heart, and that they will help you look your best in the images, it does become easier.
When all else fails, choose a documentary-style photographer. Someone who thrives on photographing moments as they happen. A natural third wheel for you couples, or a tag-along for your family outing. This will provide you with GORGEOUS images while you don’t have to worry about posing in front of the camera.

Overall, communicate with your photographer about your camera shyness. It’s our job to help you, no matter how you feel before your session.

A woman poses with a silly face in a frosty field, looking at the camera, and her dog walks merrily out of the photo on the right.

Lack of Control

Oh man, does this resonate so hard with me; I hate not being able to see how I look through the lens before my photo’s taken. It causes me anxiety, not being able to see how I’m posing or what I’m doing with my hands.

This is where you have to TRUST. Trust that your photographer really, truly wants you to look your best in your photos and that they won’t make you look weird. Some photographers will show you the back of their camera throughout the session, which can help build confidence.

And, you can really maximize the things you can control; what you wear, your makeup, your location, what props you bring, what you do during the session, etc. This can help you feel more like you’re the boss (which in a session, you most definitely are) versus feeling like just another subject.

A wedding couple pose for the camera, the groom behind the bride with his arms around her, and she has one hand on his neck and one hand on his hand. They are surrounded by lilac bushes. — *Our wedding photo by Natahsha Priya*

Past Experiences

First, I want to let you know that not every photography experience will be the same. If you’ve had a negative experience in the past, where you didn’t love how you felt or looked in the images, I am so sorry it happened to you!!

It’s a huge goal of mine for EVERYONE to feel amazing in their images because I DO know how it is to look at a photograph and hate it. (I wasn’t a huge fan of our wedding photos, but that’s a whole other story.)

My recommendation is to convey this to your photographer and try not to have any expectations going into the session. Your photographer will work with your concerns and create images you LOVE. Every photographer is different, but the majority of us do whatever we can to ensure you look and feel AMAZING coming out of your photo session.

Verbalize if you’re uncomfortable in a certain pose or movement, tell your photog if you have anything you’re self-conscious about, and what helps you feel great!! We photographers are trained to help pose and arrange in ways that are the most flattering to every body type and provide you with images you truly feel your best in.

A little girl stands in a row with her kindergarten classmates, wearing a dress that's farmyard themed, and standing stiffly while smiling at the camera. — *Wearing dresses in Kindergarten.*

Regardless of our struggles, the most important thing is to have empathy for everyone.

As a child, I was ridiculed for the choices I made. I still remember in Grade 2, happily wearing a very girly dress, standing at the water fountain before heading back to class. Three girls stood in front of me, all of whom were in my class, and one of them turned to me, saying, “Your Mom should’ve named you “Dresses” because you wear them all the time.” As an incredibly sensitive child, that hit me to my core, and I stopped wearing dresses after that.

Pretty much every person on this planet struggles with something, be it body image, worry over what others will say, what their loved ones will think if they do something particular, and so on. Having empathy allows us to find ways in which we can truly help each other to overcome our self-confidence obstacles.

Be inclusive and welcoming, which will also help to shatter former thought patterns and provide an amazing new experience to those who struggle.

A woman sits on a carpeted floor against a white wall, smiling at the camera as her dog lays on her lap, though its out of focus.

Do you or someone you know struggle with self-confidence? Share this with anyone you feel could benefit or relate and remember to always be empathetic. We never know what others are dealing with in their day-to-day.

Want some awesomely helpful reads?

You Are a Badass – Jen Sincero

Killing Comparison – Nona Jones

More than Enough – Elaine Welteroth

The Gifts of Imperfection + Daring Greatly – Brene Brown

Unfu*k Yourself – Gary John Bishop

Capturing Confidence - Navigating the Crazy Relationship Between Photography and Self-Esteem